Getting Value out of Online Dating Sites
By Debra L. Karplus
You’ve been on your own for a while whether it’s because you’ve
always been single, are divorced or are widowed. Let’s face it; going to a movie or vacationing
is much more enjoyable when you have that special someone for sharing the
experience. But your friends have set
you up on blind dates that don’t work out and you don’t like going to bars or
sitting alone at a coffee shop hoping that Mr. or Miss Right will show up at
the table beside you. You haven’t had
much luck meeting someone at church or in the community choir that you’ve sung
in for years, and the singles in the ski club are just way more into partying and
drinking than you are. Maybe it’s time
to try online dating. According to
statisticbrain.com in a March 2015 report, of the more than 54 million
Americans who are single, over 49 million have tried online dating. That’s over 90%!
How do you get
started with online dating?
There are numerous online dating sites. Many sites are those that you may have heard
of via their frequent television commercials such as Match.com, eHarmony.com, OurTime.com
or ChristianMingle.com. How do you know
which site is best for you or if you should even be more adventurous and
utilize more than one dating site?
And some sites such as Match.com and eHarmony cater to the
general public of singles. OurTime and
some other specialized sites cater to singles over fifty years of age. ChristianMingle.com and JDate.com are targeted
to Christians or Jewish singles looking to date within their same
religion. Other sites have specific
target markets as well.
Most of the dating web sites state via their advertising and
on the site itself, that you can get started for free. Once you have created a log-in, you can
browse the many attractive and eligible singles in your area that are on that
site. It is very enticing. But for the majority of these sites, once
you’ve spotted a few of these attractive possible matches and want to send a message to show your interest, that’s when
you will be asked for your credit card number for a recurring charge of thirty
to forty dollars monthly. Pretty sneaky!
OkCupid seems to be one of the few dating websites that
allows users to send and receive messages to people of interest and actually
arrange face-to-face dates, for no charge.
OkCupid does charge for additional services and screening filter
options.
Is online dating
safe?
If you would like to consider at least trying online dating,
read the fine print on the site carefully as to what it involves to close your
account on the occasion that you might actually meet someone and get into a
committed monogamous relationship or you just decide that for whatever reason,
online dating is simply not for you.
Before signing up, you should contact both your credit card company and also your bank
to decide the best way to pay for the monthly online dating site fees since
they typically take the fees from you automatically from your credit card or
bank account. Some credit card companies
will allow you to create a special credit card number from your same account so
that you can use it for a certain amount of times and then the number becomes
void. Your bank may recommend using your
debit card to pay each month automatically for those same safety reasons.
But most important, is your own personal safety when dating online.
First, be cautious what personal information you divulge on your
profile. Carefully select a user name
that is cryptic. When you do find
someone that you want to meet who also wants to meet you, remember that unlike
meeting someone who travels in the same social circles that you do where you
know some of the same people, how people present themselves in the online
dating arena is, in fact, marketing.
Most prospective matches want to present the best scenario possible of which
they are whether it is about their appearance or their interests. Playing volleyball once does not really mean
it is a serious interest, for example.
When you actually have a date scheduled with this possible
new beau, go on your own, do not have them pick you up, and plan to meet for
coffee, something short and quick, in a very public place.
Online dating has become more the rule than the exception
these days for busy singles. But always
be cautious.
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